Progress...

I am feeling much better about things. I can't help it. I think I am simply a fundamentally optimistic person. I have a general faith that "things will always work themselves out." I have lots of good news to report.

I have visited the farmer's market twice and I have already decided that I need to find ANOTHER farmer's market. The one I visited was so busy and crowded that it was impossible to walk, I had to shuffle along with the kids clinging to my legs. Too stressful. There are a couple of other choices, so I will check them out in the coming weeks.

Last week, dh checked our power and water meters, and our usage is DEFINITELY down. I am sooooo pleased. I know that most of electricity use is down because it's the summer and it always go down in the summer, but I think it's down substantially. I won't know for sure until I get my utility bill. The reduction in water use is fantastic, however, because we have more people living with us than we used to. For the last month, I have had two adult roommates in the house, so I wouldn't have been surprised if the water use went UP, since they take showers and do laundry, too. Hooray for me!

This past week, I also did a major cleaning with ONLY baking soda and vinegar. I have tried it before, but I was never satisfied with the results. I would use baking soda to scrub the tub and the sinks, and vinegar for the mirrors. It only sort of worked. This time, I used baking soda and a wet cloth to scrub, and then I sprinkled vinegar on top, which caused it to fizz and foam. I scrubbed more while it was foaming, and it turned out magnificently. The tub was GLEAMING. I was thrilled. Now I know that I can get by without cleaners. I will still keep some Comet and Windex around, but I will only need to use them occasionally. Another hooray!

Have I mentioned that I stopped using shampoo awhile ago? I am trying to reduce our plastic consumption. Sometimes that means choosing a different product, or a different brand, and sometimes it means eliminating a product entirely. I decided that I could eliminate shampoo and conditioner. I read online that washing hair is actually optional, that your hair will be icky for awhile, but would balance itself out after a few weeks if you just stopped washing it. I'm not ready to face several weeks of icky hair yet, so I tried baking soda on my hair. Guess what? It WORKS! You just scrub it into your scalp, and it works. I have found it is much nicer if I mix the baking soda up with some honey to make a paste and scrub that in. I have heard that rinsing with apple cider vinegar is nice, too, but I haven't tried that yet. I'll let you know.

If you're squeamish, skip this paragraph. I bought myself a "keeper" and got to try it out this month. If you don't already know, a "keeper" is a reusable rubber cup that you use to catch your menstrual flow in lieu of tampons, pads, etc. Putting it in the first time was EASY. Taking it OUT the first few times was kind of tricky. I ended up calling a girlfriend (who has had her keeper for years) at 8am the first day to have her talk me through it on the phone. Phew! I think I have the knack now, and I will no longer be purchasing mentrual products. YAY!!!

Today, my dear, sweet husband brought me home a bicycle repair kit. I have a very old bicycle that I haven't ridden much since my kids were born, although I used to do a lot of bicycle commuting. The bike desperately needed a tune-up, but the repair shop quoted $100 to $150 to do it. I've spent the last two weeks dithering about whether to spend the money or not. Today, with the tiny little prodding that dh's gift offered me, I spent the whole afternoon cleaning my chain and my gears and generally tinkering, and my bike is good to go! Hallelujah! The whole family went for a bike ride together for the first time EVER. It was such a thrill.

I work on Tuesday night, and I am planning to ride my bike. It is approximately 8km, which isn't too far. I used to commute 10-12km to work in my life before kids. However, I need to plan for a lot of extra time, because I am in nowhere near as good condition as I used to be.

The more I think about it, it feels like a lot of the changes I am making are just going back to my "roots." I used to be a VERY environmentally-conscious student. I lived on-campus with some very green people, who deserve all the credit for teaching me everything I know. Eating less meat, creating less garbage, getting around on transit, bike, or foot, and not acquiring "stuff" were just part of the whole student lifestyle. Mind you, in some ways it's easier to be green when you have NO MONEY to buy anything, lol.

Wow. I just re-read my post, and I have actually had a lot of successes in the past month: reduced electricty, reduced water, 2 visits to the farmer's market, eliminated shampoo & conditioner, switched to natural cleaning supplies, and repaired my bike.

Growing Pains

I am trying, and stumbling badly, to reduce my environmental impact. It involves changing the way I look at and do almost everything. It is only recently that I finally got "organized" and started feeling like I had my act together, and now I have to re-learn everything all over.

For example, to reduce water consumption, I am following the "if it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down" philosophy. Yet, I screw up several times a day. Do you have any idea how difficult it is to remember NOT to flush? It is just automatic. Another example: I have sworn off plastic bags for groceries. I have two large cloth bags. Sometimes, I even put them in the car, but then, when I carry them back in the house, they never make it back to the car. Then, when I stop to pick up a few things on my way home from somewhere, I don't have them with me, and I resort to plastic. Then I get mad at myself.

I literally have to take on these habits one at a time. If it takes me several weeks to master a new habit, it is going to take 5 years to cut my emissions! I look around my home and I realize that there are lots of things I could do. I could make my own: bread, ketchup, mayonnaise, pickles, salsa, crackers, cookies, granola bars, yogourt, and french fries. I could grow a lot of food in my back yard. I could become vegetarian. I could ride my bike to work. Each one of these
items requires learning a new skill or making some kind of re-organization in my life. Riding my bike would involve fixing it first. Do I spend money to have it fixed, or do I learn how to fix it
myself? Becoming vegetarian would involve learning at least 5-10 new recipes that the family enjoys, which means trying out at least 10-20 new recipes. Even at one per week, it would still be 6 months before we could be primarily vegetarian.

It is all so HARD.

I hear all the time how "homeschooling must be so hard." Homeschooling is NOT HARD. Homeschooling is easy. It is easier than childbirth, easier than nursing, easier than life with a toddler, easier than life with an infant and a preschooler, and it's easier than sending the kids to school. Learning how to do everything you have ever done before to make it more earth-friendly is HARD. It involves cultural and personal reconditioning, and consciously thinking about every action you take all day long. It is HARD.

If this is hard for ME, a person with an education, and some money, and some free time, and a somewhat supportive husband, and a passionate desire to do BETTER, then how hard is it going to be for the average family who is simply trying to figure out how to handle the latest rent increase?

Is there hope for our planet? Can we do this?

Real Wealth

All this reading about global warming, peak oil and the impending end of the world as we know it has me thinking about the meaning of wealth.

The way I was trained by my parents, by my favourite authors (Robert Kiyosaki, Robert Allen), and as a financial advisor, being wealthy involves having enough money invested so that you can live on the income it generates. It can be invested in the bank, in the stock market, in mutual funds, in real estate, or in business. It doesn't really matter, so long as the income it generates is enough for you to live on. If your investments generate 10% return per year, and your lifestyle costs $50,000 per year, then you need $500,000 invested. You can tinker with the formula by either reducing the cost of your lifestyle or improving your investment returns. You can fiddle with it endlessly by playing with tax rules and tax shelters and so on, but that is the essential formula for achieving financial independence.

Of course, there are other kinds of assets, and it helps a lot if you can keep those at the top of your mind. Examples include physical health, mental health, spiritual faith, family, and friendships. I also rely on my personal assets, like strength, creativity, resourcefulness, adaptability, and grace under pressure. I frequently remind myself that it wouldn't matter one tiny bit if I lost everything I own, as long as I still had my family, my health, and my
"inner resources." Everything else can be replaced, and probably isn't all that important anyway.

I've been reading a blog about peak oil and reducing your dependence on oil, and becoming more self-sufficient in general. It's at: http://casaubonsbook.blogspot.com/index.html

Those ideas really turn the whole idea of wealth on its head. If oil and gas become so expensive that ordinary people cannot afford to heat their homes, and the price of everything (like food) skyrockets as a result, and massive poverty and civil unrest follow, then it really won't matter how much money you have in the bank. If inflation is out of control, or currencies are crashing, money in the bank becomes irrelevant. The new measures of wealth will relate to how self-sufficient you are: having a yard that's big enough to grow your own food, having a house that is off-grid or able to generate some of its own power, old-fashioned skills in gardening, canning, making your own, and doing without, and most importantly, strong community
connections so that sharing and helping and supporting each other can take place.

This really has me thinking about wealth in general. If it is possible to live very simply, to grow most of your own food, to get by without much electricity, without a car, to make your own products (lotions, soaps, candles), and to make your own fun (card games, singing, walking, cycling), then you don't really need $500,000 in the bank. Theoretically, it should be possible for almost everyone to be self-sufficient. Mind you, in that situation, it would be important for families and communities to work together to meet everyone's needs. Oh my god, that could actually be an IMPROVEMENT!

Positive Thinking for a Better World

First of all, I want to mention how honoured I am to have people actually reading my blog. I usually feel like I'm talking to myself here, which is okay, but now that there might be visitors, maybe I should try to fix the place up a little!

As often as possible, I like to attend the Sunday morning celebration at my local Life Enrichment Centre. I enjoy being reminded about our connection with god and each other, about the power of prayer and positive thinking, and about the law of attraction. The music is very uplifting, too! A lot of the information about environmental problems, pollution, peak oil, water shortages, and what might happen if we don't change something quickly is very scary and overwhelming. It is easy to get sucked into a very dark view of the future, a future that includes poverty, hunger, illness, cold, and chaos.

Personally, I don't think the world is coming to an end. There certainly could be some suffering in the years to come, but there is already a lot of suffering. Even if oil and gas and electricity
become unaffordable for most people, and we all have to live like our grandparents did, or like 80% of the rest of humanity does right now, I don't think that would be a disaster. Maybe more people would start gardens. (I have been learning about intensive gardening, and how
much food you can get out of a very small space - it's INCREDIBLE!) Maybe people would share more, and go for walks more, and get together with their neighbours more, and cooperate in
child-care more, and maybe we wouldn't be so stressed out and busy, busy, busy all the time.

Maybe I have a utopian view of things. Maybe there will be chaos and crime and hunger and suffering.

No matter what the future might bring, it is essential to look at things from a positive point of view. Each time I plant a new raspberry bush or tomato plant in my yard, I feel grateful that I
have a yard, and I imagine enjoying the delicious fruit that will grow. Each time I visit the farmer's market, I think how wonderful it is to have such a resource available. Each time I go for a walk in the spring, I try to notice how life magically renews itself every year. On the flip side, every time I forget my own cloth bags, or buy a fast-food meal, or fill up with gas, it is useless to berate myself for screwing up. Instead, I try to just notice what happened, and
remind myself of my intention to do better, to use only what I need to use, and to be a good steward of what I have.

Looking at all the problems in the world with fear and panic will not help. Trying to make changes from a mental viewpoint of fear and panic only causes more suffering. Instead, I think about the type of world I would like to live in, one where we all have clean air, comfortable homes, plenty of nutritious food to eat, and supportive communities to share and celebrate with.

How to live

One of the reasons that I chose homeschooling for my family was because I believe that I need to demonstrate to my children what is the right way to live. Going to an institution for 8 hours every day whether you like it there or not, whether it makes you happy or not, is not the right way to live. Many adults do go to jobs they hate, that make them stressed out and sick for 8 hours every day. That is not the life I chose, and it is not the life I wish for my children.

This principle applies to almost everything I do. I believe that being married and staying married is the best way to raise children. I am committed to that, and I am actively demonstrating it to my children. I try as much as I can to live according to my values, with
integrity, so that when I say something, I can say it with conviction, and not have a little voice inside reminding me that it's not 100% true.

Well, I spent tonight reading all about people who are "farming" on their city lots, producing a significant proportion of their own food, often with a surplus to sell or share with others. One of the solutions to dealing with "peak oil" and dwindling oil supplies and skyrocketing prices is to become self-sufficient. If you can grow most of your own food, and you have solar panels and solar ovens to provide your energy needs, and composting toilets instead of plumbing, then there isn't very much that you really need. You certainly don't need a job that pays $80,000 a year. You are self-sufficient.

One of the biggest problems for people living in poverty is food insecurity. They don't earn enough money to pay the rent and to buy groceries. If people were able to produce their own food, it wouldn't matter so much. I remember talking with a co-worker of mine, describing his life growing up on a farm. He said that they never had any money to buy things, but there was always food to eat. On an Alberta farm, there were always steak and potatoes and vegetables,
bread and jam and milk and eggs. They never went hungry.

Well, all the reading and thinking that I am doing leads me to believe that becoming more self-sufficient and less environmentally destructive IS the right way to live. What this means for me is that I need to figure out how to do it so that I can model it for my children. I want them to grow up experiencing a good way of life, a sustainable and healthy way of life, an abundant and rich way of life. Gardening is definitely going to play a part in that.

Environmental Meltdown

The more I read, the more frantic I get. Yesterday, Envirowoman posted an article on her blog ( http://plasticfree.blogspot.com/) that had me feeling completely nauseated and overwhelmed. Please, take 20 minutes out of your life and read it! You will never look at plastic the same way again. It's here:

http://www.bestlifeonline.com/cms/publish/health-fitness/Our_oceans_are_turning_into_plastic_are_we_2.shtml

(One day soon, I am going to figure out how to put lists of my favourite blogs into a sidebar, and also how to make a word link to something, instead of my clunky method of pasting the whole url. One day. I swear.)

It is very easy to become completely and totally overwhelmed by the problems out there, and by trying to figure out what to do first. There are a few categories of issues, which I'm going to briefly outline here:

reduce the garbage
eliminate plastic
buy and accumulate less stuff (because everything you buy is going to end up in a landfill someday)
eat locally-grown food
become vegetarian
become more self-sufficient (grow your own food, getting "off the grid," learn some old-fashioned skills)
use less electricity
use less water
use less gasoline (walk, cycle, public transportation)

It really is a lot, considering that most people are totally occupied just figuring out how to pay the rent, buy the groceries, and get the kids to soccer on time. I am going to share with you some of the changes that we're making around here. This is still baby steps, because I am learning as I go. I have to thank my husband, because most of them involve his help. He isn't quite as freaked out about the environmental stuff as I am, but he is extremely understanding and cooperative.

• I have stopped using Q-tips. It's a small thing, but I had to start somewhere.
• Derek fixed the toilet that was constantly running. Hopefully that will cut down on our water usage.
• Derek replaced the showerhead to a low-flow style. I was already in the habit of turning off the shower while soaping up, but now it is ALSO a low-flow, so it should save even more.
• We are installing a clothesline. First, I bought the clothespins. Then, I bought the clothesline kit. Now, I need to wait for Derek to install it. He knows I'm pretty fired up about this one, so I'm sure it will only be a week or two.
• Derek replaced all the lightbulbs in the house with the curly CFL bulbs.
• Derek shut off our furnace fan. For some reason, our furnace fan used to blow 24/7/365. It never, ever stopped, winter or summer. Now, the house is very silent. Now, I can hear the fridge running.
• We replaced our windows a couple of months ago. Technically, this doesn't belong on this list, but it will definitely help with the heating bill in the winter.

One of the most important things I did was to review my gas, electricity, and water bills for the last 18 months. It was VERY enlightening. For instance, I figured out that our family uses about 20 cubic metres of water each month. It varies from 17 to 24, but it's around 20 cubic metres. That number was completely meaningless to me. Thanks to the internet, I learned that 20 cubic metres is 5283 gallons, or 20,000 litres. That is 600 litres every single day. There are only 4 of us.

I also learned that our house uses about 1,300 kilowatt hours of electricity every month. I still don't really know what that means, because I can't compare it to anything, and I totally and completely do NOT understand electricity. My poor hubby has tried several times to explain it to me, to no avail. I need to find the children's book of electricity, with really good pictures, and maybe I will figure it out. Anyway, 1300kwh is a lot. Way more than average. We can definitely do better on this one.

We use about 150 GJ of natural gas in a year. That sounds like a nice, small number, but it's not. We installed new windows this year, so I am very curious to see how much that cuts down on our usage. I don't really know what else we can do to reduce this. Keeping the temperature kind of low, and washing our clothes in cold water are the only 2 things I can think of.

Here are some things that I want to do soon:

• Switch from ob tampons to the DivaCup, or some other variety of non-disposable "unmentionable."
• Start shopping at the farmer's market, at least once in a while.
• Develop a habit of ALWAYS carrying canvas shopping bags with me so that I NEVER have to resort to plastic ones again. EVER. Plastic bags should be illegal.
• Find an alternative to those thin, filmy vegetable bags that you use at the grocery store to wrap your veggies in.
• Switch to vinegar, baking soda, and soap flakes and start making my own cleaners, shampoo, etc.
• Talk to my neighbour, who is vegetarian, about what they eat for supper. I am a pretty good cook, and I can make at least 100 different meat-based recipes, but I only have a handful of really good vegetarian dishes in my repertoire. My husband won't eat most of them.
• Find and join a Community-Shared-Agriculture farm, the kind where you buy a share, you go and help out a few times a year, and you get a portion of the produce.
• Learn more about my options for locally-grown food, like what on earth to eat. I don't think that sugar, olive oil, coffee or chocolate are available locally.
• Start making more things from scratch, like cookies, muffins, and granola bars. This way, they won't need to be individually wrapped.
• Figure out how to go on a picnic without wrapping everything in plastic. I just don't know how to do it.
• Get my bicycle tuned up so that I can ride it again. In another year or two, when the youngest is off his training wheels, we could actually run some errands by bicycle.

That is enough to keep me busy for quite a while.

My Latest Craze!

I haven't blogged in ages, but it's because I've been so busy
reading, reading, reading! My eyes are burning from all the hours
logged at the laptop. What is the cause of all this excitement?

No-Impact Man! I happened upon a New York Times article about someone
doing a year without toilet paper, and found the blog of a man who is
doing a one-year experiment to reduce his environmental impact for
the year to zero. He is a normal person, living in New York City, who
is learning as he goes and swearing off cars, taxis, buses, subways,
garbage of all kind, new purchases, electricity, running water, etc, etc.

Of course, he links to a whole bunch of related blogs, which I have
been devouring. One woman in Vancouver has made a commitment to
acquire no new plastic in 2007. Another woman in Ontario is adopting
one new "green" product or habit every day for a year. A couple in
Vancouver wrote a book called the 100-Mile Diet, describing their
one-year experiment with eating locally. Personally, I don't think
that would be all that difficult. I mean, in Vancouver, you're right
beside the ocean, and the Okanagan valley. How hard could it be? I
just finished doing a unit study on the Inuit with my daughter. Now
THAT was difficult. They ate a lot of meat, and they ate a lot of it
raw because they had no fuel to cook it with. Mind-boggling.

Actually, the unit study on native culture and the environmental
stuff I'm reading are firmly linked in my brain. Through most of
history, in most places, people had to use whatever was around them
to live. If you lived near water, you fished, and fishing and water
and boats were important to your culture. If you lived on the plains,
following the buffalo or the caribou was really central to your culture.

I am trying really hard to figure out what my culture is, and what my
values are, and to create a community of some kind, so that my kids
can have those things (community, values, and culture). Living as
part of nature and part of a community and in harmony with my values
are essential to raising my kids.

I used to live with a few really environmentally-minded roommates,
and I was fairly well-trained in low-impact living. I never did go
vegetarian, and I never did give up my car, but I am at least AWARE
of most of my transgressions. I have gotten lazy in recent years, and
I've decided it's time to clean up my act.

My first major change was to begin composting. It really isn't that
difficult at all. You just toss your kitchen scraps into a pile in
your backyard. Cover it with some dry grass or leaves. Ignore it for
a couple of months or years, as needed. Done. It can be way more
scientific if you want it to, but that seems to be the simple version.

My next goal is to get a clothesline. We run our dryer A LOT. My son
has been wetting the bed every night lately, and I have been washing
and drying his comforter every single day. I REALLY need a
clothesline. I am also going to get my husband to shut our furnace
fan off for the summer. The fan runs 24 hours a day, year-round,
circulating the air in the house. When it's cold out, it blows hot
air, of course, but the rest of the time, it just blows air. I wonder
how much money we will save if the fan only blows when the furnace is
actually on.

From what I hear, environmental living can be quite frugal. We spend
about $350 a month on water, electricity, and natural gas. How much
could we reduce that bill? If I cut back from 5 loads of laundry a
week down to 3, and use a clothesline, and shut off the furnace fan,
is that going to save us money? I will keep you posted!

What I am REALLY concerned about is how to reduce the amount of
garbage we create, especially plastic. Most of it has to do with the
kids. It is unbelievable how much crap comes into the house related
to them. Dollar store items, loot bags from birthday parties, happy
meal toys at the fast food restaurant. Every time I turn around,
someone is handing us a dooddad or a gizmo for the kids. Even the
groceries are bad: the yogourt comes in little tubes, the drinks come
in little boxes, the granola bars are individually wrapped.

I guess I can't change everything all at once, but now that I have
been reminded, it is time to do BETTER.

I have The Secret!

I bought myself "The Secret" on DVD this week. I am very excited. I
have heard so many fabulous things about it, I hope that I'm not
disappointed when I actually watch it.

I can't decide if I want to watch it alone or invite a bunch of
friends over to see it together.

I'll let you know how it goes.

I got a job!

I finally got a job! I have been thinking about doing this for a long
time now, and I had to work through a whole bunch of mental
roadblocks (who will watch the kids, what if I get tired, what hours
could I work, what kind of work would I be willing to do, and so on),
and I finally got a job!

I just want to put in a little plug for the Law of Attraction. It
really, really works. I had been spinning my wheels for several weeks
with my job search. I either couldn't find anything that I wanted to
apply for, or I wasn't getting any response to my applications.
Finally, I sat down and wrote a little list of what kind of job I was
looking for. This was my list:

south side
evenings and weekends only
prefer Wednesday, Thursday, Friday nights, occasional weekend
prefer to work 6-midnight
minimum $12 an hour, preferably $15, for about 15-20 hours/week

I had been thinking about delivering newspapers for a while, and I
decided to just go ahead and start. The hours weren't exactly what I
wanted, but the money was reasonable, and at least I could still homeschool.

Less than one hour after I booked my training session with the
newspaper circulation guy, I was called for an interview for a
dispatcher position at a towing company. I went to the interview the
very next morning, and accepted a position the morning after that.
Guess what? All of my criteria were met PRECISELY. The office is on
the south side. The hours are reasonably compatible with what I
wanted. The training rate is $12 per hour, and the regular rate she
pays the experienced dispatchers is $15.

This type of thing has happened to me before. It makes me think that
what I ought to do is ASK FOR MORE!!!! What if I had written down
$15-$20 per hour? Or $20-$25 per hour? What if I had written down
"can work from home"? What are the possibilities?

The key to this, however, is that you are only able to attract what
you believe you can. I don't really believe that I COULD get $25 per
hour for part-time work, so I know it wouldn't have worked. What I
would have to do is work on my beliefs, and increase my faith in what
is possible, and then attract something better.

In the meantime, I am completely thrilled that I attracted exactly
what I was looking for, and I am going to enjoy it to the maximum. I
intend to stay there for one year, and in about 10 months, I going to
take my family to Disneyland!!!

Incredible Experiences While Homeschooling

We had the most amazing experience yesterday. The weather was
gorgeous, so I took the kids (age 7 and 4) for a walk along a trail
that starts right beside the Snow Valley Ski area. It was warm and
sunny and we were looking for puddles.

There is a bridge over a creek close to the beginning of the trail.
The creek was still frozen, and the kids wanted to go down and walk
around on the ice. I do have a brain, this sounded kind of dangerous,
so I went first, and it seemed safe enough. The ice on top was
crunchy, and underneath it was just frozen mud and ice, so I decided
it was okay.

We played and explored there for a while, and then went back up to
the trail and walked some more. There was another spot where we
climbed down onto the creek and watched little rivulets of water
trickling around and crunched up all of the ice and poked at things
with sticks and generally had a wonderful time.

I decided it was time to head back, so we did. Well, when we got back
to the first bridge, THE CREEK WATER WAS RUSHING BY AT HIGH SPEED! I
was stunned. Only 45 minutes before, we were walking around on the
same spot that was now drowned by muddy, flowing water! Only 15
minutes before, we were playing IN the creek bed just two curves downstream!

I had no idea that a creek could switch from ice to flowing water so
quickly. My kids are convinced that they are directly responsible for
the creek starting to move because "we broke up the ice"!

Buddhism and Spiritual Principles

A couple of weeks ago, I spotted the book Peace Is Every Step by Thich Nhat Hanh at the library and grabbed it, plus about 6 more by the same author. It is such a beautiful, peaceful, encouraging, soothing, inspirational book. It is the kind of book that makes me want to pause every few paragraphs to savour the words, and re-read the pages over and over again until the wisdom of his words sinks right into my soul. It's like absorbing Truth with every turn of the page. The book is like a gift to the world, and I am so grateful that it leaped off the shelf and into my hands. I need to order it from Chapters so that I will have my own copy.

It reminds me a lot of the book The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. I read that last year and had the same experience of wanting to pause after every paragraph to savour the ideas. In fact, both books are about exactly the same idea: Nhat Hanh calls it "mindfulness" and Tolle calls it being in the present moment. It's an idea that I have been working with for quite a while, and I had no idea that it had anything to do with Buddhism. It happens to be a great way to alleviate stress, to calm a baby, to teach children, to talk to your husband, to go for a walk, or even to wash the dishes. Most of us are terrible at it. At least I'm aware that I'm terrible at it, and I am "practicing" in order to improve.

I have skimmed through a few of Nhat Hanh's other books, and they are all so practical, yet gentle and forgiving. Even though he is a Buddhist monk, he is very familiar with how challenging it is to find time to meditate, how easy it is to be distracted by TV, books, magazines, computers, games, and other amusements, and how important it is to continue "practicing" mindfulness. I love the word "practicing." It makes it sounds like we are all just learning, and we all still need more practice in order to improve. It's not like you're either succeeding or failing, you're just practicing all the time.

I am trying to figure out where some of the spiritual principles I am learning come from, and how they all fit together. Some of them sound very familiar, and other ideas sound like they are diametrically opposed. For example, one of the ideas I'm working with right now is the concept of "non-attachment." The idea is that you do not become attached to any particular outcome. Whatever happens is perfectly okay, going exactly according to God's plan, the universe is unfolding exactly as it should, etc. I think this is a somewhat Buddhist idea, but don't quote me on that. Maybe it's also a Christian idea - don't they talk about the concept of "submitting" to God's will? Anyway, it's a fairly low-stress approach to living, because you don't need to tie yourself into knots trying to make your life perfect or trying to fix everything. Everything is already just right. All you need to do is practice mindfulness, experiencing the world one moment at a time, one miracle at a time.

On the other hand, I am familiar with the concept of "Law of Attraction," manifesting what you desire, creating your own reality, and so on. In self-help type of books, it involves a lot of visualizations, affirmations, positive thinking, goal setting, and praying. My own interpretation of the idea is that every single thought you have is a prayer, and the universe is constantly adjusting to make all of your prayers come true. So, if you are constantly thinking about how broke and stressed and tired and sick you are, guess what??? You will create more broke, stressed, tired, and sick. If, despite your miserable conditions, you are able to put your thoughts on what you're grateful for (loving husband, cute kids, a decent meal, clothes on your back, a good friend), then not only will you feel better, but positive things will flow into your life. I earnestly believe that this is exactly how the world works, mainly because I have experienced it myself over and over and over again.

I just can't quite figure out how "non-attachment" and "law of attraction" fit together. They seem like polar opposites. I believe the real trick is that you're supposed to do them both simultaneously. I'll let you know when I figure that out.

Ski Trip Bliss

We got home last night from our family ski trip to Panorama (near Invermere, BC). It was fantastic.

Skiing holds a special place in my heart. I met my husband Derek on a ski trip way back in 1992 when we were both members of the U of A Ski Club. We did a lot of skiing together before we were married. We decided to start a family eight years ago on a ski trip to Panorama, and now we have both of our kids on skis.

The skiing life is just such a fantastic way to live. We get up every day and head outside for 4 or 5 hours of fresh air and exercise. There's time for the hot tub, swimming, or relaxing before a hearty supper, and then then you can read, watch a movie, do some school work, play a board game, and then sleep like a rock until you get up and do it all over again. We were gone for 6 full days of skiing, and I didn't have the slightest desire to come home.

My 7-year-old daughter is amazing on skis. She started as a beginner on Monday, and by Saturday, she was riding up the quad chair with her dad, skiing down the blue square runs (that's intermediate, in case you don't know). She can even ride the chair lift by herself. I just love seeing how happy and proud she is and how much fun she is having.

My 4-year-old son did pretty well this week, too. At first, he was very floppy and clingy and wouldn't stand up unless he held my hand or my ski poles. I wasn't sure if I should push him harder or put him into a lesson or what to do with him. I decided to just do things his
way (that's the attachment parent unschooler coming out in me) and by the end of the week he was standing up much better on his skis, and he even wanted to let go of my poles and glide down on his own sometimes. He has a really great attitude about skiing: he wanted to head out every day and he had great stamina. He was willing to stay out there for a couple of hours before heading back. He LOVED it when Derek or I would hold him and go really fast. He would laugh and screech and shout "Yee Haw Horsie" all the way down the hill.

After all that fresh air and exercise, I am starting to feel really good again. I was feeling like a big fat slug for a while, and not really sure what to do about it. I go for walks and I run on the
treadmill, but I am always, constantly battling with my weight and my food addictions. The situation improves on vacations. Our vacations usually involve a lot of skiing or hiking or some kind of physical, outdoorsy activities, and I always feel great by the end of it.

Maybe what I need to do is change my life around to make it more like vacations. It feels so good to get outside right away in the morning. I want to head out for a long hike or a long bike ride or something. I always thought that we have to get our school work done first, but
maybe we could do it in the late afternoon or after supper. All the regular school kids have homework to do at night, so maybe that's when we should do our work, too. Actually, I have a really great school schedule forming in my head already:

• get up with ds and do school work with him first
• get dd out of bed
• head outside with kids for some big outdoor activity: hiking, skiing,
• toboganning, cycling, swimming....
• come back home for relaxation & quiet reading time
• do some serious school work for an hour before or after supper
• play board games, do lego projects, etc until bed time

I had this fantasy that we would do that today, but it totally didn't work out. It's still winter here, and Edmonton is pretty flat - no ski hill in my back yard. I did manage to drag the kids for a walk around the block, but that isn't going to do much for my fitness level. It will get a little easier in the spring and summer, but it's still hard to get a good workout with small kids in tow. Maybe if I just add a 15 minute treadmill session to the morning, it will be enough.

I have lots more to talk about, but so little time. It's already 11:30pm. Derek is away in San Francisco for the Game Developer's Conference, so I need to be on my toes this week in order to handle everything alone.

A Great Weekend

What an awesome weekend so far. Last night, my mother and I took dd (age 7) to see the closing concert for International Week at the University of Alberta. I-Week, as it is now called, has been an annual event for the last 22 years, and it always culminates with a variety-show type of concert on Friday night. I LOVE IT. Last night's show featured a Japanese drum group called Kita No Taiko, aerial acrobats from Firefly Theatre, a Sufi music ensemble, some other stuff I can't remember right now, and a performance by Kinnie Starr, the most incredible poet/singer/performer that I have ever seen.

What I love the most is that almost all of the performers are local groups, based in Edmonton, and yet they either come from all over the world, or they are inspired by music or art from all over the world. It is such a wonderful opportunity to see a lot of local talent perform, and at an incredibly reasonable cost (only $12 a ticket!). From the home-schooling perspective, it is also an amazing opportunity to show my daughter all kinds of different performing arts, and possibly inspire her to try something new.

I think about all the crap we consume on television, on the internet, at the movie theatre, and on the radio, and I wonder why we are so addicted to it, when there is this incredible, vibrant, richly varied culture all around us, right here in Edmonton. I mean, these are LOCAL artists, living and working and performing HERE, and what do we spend most of our free time on? Movies, television, internet, radio. Oh, and video games. I suppose it's partly because I have to go to a bit of effort to find out about these great performances and events in the city and figure out how to get there and so on. It's not just streaming into my house.

I remember my sister-in-law making a joke about NEVER wanting to live in "dead-monton" and I was slightly hurt at the time. Now, years later, I just think that most people just don't know about the rich variety of cultural, spiritual, and artistic communities that exist here.

The International Week concert was only the beginning of my awesome weekend. This morning I slept in until almost 10 o'clock - a miracle. Okay, ds did wake me up at 8, and dd woke me up at 9, but I didn't actually get out of bed until 10am. I'll take what I can get. What is unusual about today was that I had no plans. I always have plans. Almost every day of the month is planned. Today, however, had absolutely nothing scheduled.

I sat around drinking coffee and reading the latest Maclean's magazine. There is an interview of David Walsh, author of No: Why Kids-Of All Ages-Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It. This is an absurdly long title for a book, but the author sounds like an absolute genius. He seems to really understand why parents cave to their kids all the time: guilt, pressure, being busy, being tired, trying to keep the peace. He acknowledges how much time and energy goes into effective parenting, but he also talks about how important self-discipline is. By saying no to our kids, and forcing them to deal with boredom, dissatisfaction, and even high expectations, we help them develop self-discipline. This is my kind of guy. I already tried to reserve the book at the library, but they don't seem to have it yet.

I ended up calling up a friend to go for a walk this afternoon. I drove to her house, then we walked to Starbucks, had a coffee, and walked back. It was a bit on the cold side (about -15), but at least we got some exercise. When I got home, my daughter was invited over to a friend's house to play, so I went with her and sat around chatting with the mom for an hour and a half. We finally got home at 6:30 and ordered pizza.

I couldn't have had a better day if I had planned it all out. Tomorrow doesn't have much on the schedule, but I am going to have to do some laundry and housework. Maybe I'll squeeze in a trip to the library. I am dying to get started on Little House in the Big Woods with dd right away. My weirdness post got me thinking about it.

Weirdness

I have been tagged by Daisy to post 6 weird things about me. The way
it works is that I am supposed to tag 6 other bloggers to post 6
weird things about themselves. The trouble is, Daisy's blog is the
only one that I read regularly. I read a couple of others, but the
people don't know me.

I asked my husband for his opinion. At first he said he couldn't
possibly narrow it down to only 6. I am just a vast, complex entity
composed entirely of weirdness, peculiarity, and idiosyncrasy. When
pressed for details, he waffled and said that he is just so used to
my strangeness that it doesn't even seem weird to him. So, I have to
figure this out myself.

1. I meditate for an hour every morning. That is something that most
people don't know. I have been meditating on and off for years, but
lately I have been doing it very regularly. I'm not sure if it is
going to solve all of my problems, but I definitely feel like I'm on
top of my game, "with it", and generally have my act together a lot
more than I usually do.

2. I have a very bizarre relationship to science. There is a tonne of
it that I just do not understand, and I am extremely skeptical about
almost all of it. Like gravity, chemistry, time travel, oh, and
physics. Especially physics. My husband gets great laughs almost
every day because I really don't get physics. I mean, you've got
laws, you've got theories, and who can keep them straight? Not me.

3. I am a home-birthing, attachment-parenting, co-sleeping,
home-schooling, health-food eating, environmentally-aware
crunchy-granola type of person. Those are 6 things right there that
make me weird to most members of my family. However, I do not
compost. Several people I know are completely shocked that I do not
compost. So, now that my kitchen garburetor is broken, I guess I am
going to start composting.

4. I actually like going on trips all by myself. I travelled around
Europe for 3 months all by myself when I was 22, and it was fabulous.
It is the only way to travel, the best way to travel. It's great.
Nobody to have to try to get along with, compromise with, or even
talk to if you don't feel like it. You can do exactly what you want
to do, whenever you want to do it.

5. I have a long-standing fascination with Laura Ingalls Wilder from
Little House on the Prairie. It started when I read the novels around
age 8 or 9. I developed an extremely colourful internal relationship
with Laura. I had fantasies that involved travelling back in time and
living with her. I would know so much because I was from the future.
Then I would imagine that she travelled to the present, and I would
take her around and show her things and explain everything to her,
like cars, music, shopping centres, dishwashers, airplanes,
absolutely everything. This was DETAILED.

As an example of how severe the Little House thing is: My husband has
always wanted to go to Disneyland or Disneyworld and a whole bunch of
other big attractions in the United States. I have always resisted
because I feel very weird about travelling in the US. I mean, people
there are allowed to carry guns! When I was in Las Vegas, I kept
looking at everybody and wondering, Does that person have a gun? How
about that one? That person could have a gun in her purse right this
second! One day last spring, I was perusing some home-school sites,
and I found some stuff you can do with the Little House series
(hooray!) and OH MY GOD you can actually VISIT Walnut Grove! There is
a museum and some other stuff there to see. I almost freaked out. I
called my hubby over to show him, and I was like, "Forget Disneyland,
honey, we're going to Minnesota!" I get excited just thinking about it.

Okay, I admit it, THAT is weird. I kind of want to start reading the
Little House books to my daughter, but I notice that I'm holding
back. What if she doesn't like them as much as I do? It could cause
irreparable harm to our relationship.

6. The vast majority of what I read for pleasure is non-fiction. I
almost never read fiction because I get completely absorbed in it, to
the exclusion of all else. Meals go unprepared, children are ignored,
the telephone goes unanswered, and I'll stay up until 5am just to
finish. Then I need 2-3 days just to recover. On top of that, I find
that I often take on the mood of a book for days afterwards. If it
was a very profound book, or very sad, or very dark and depressing,
well, that's how I'm going to be feeling for the next week. I won't
even permit myself to pick up a novel unless there is NOTHING going
on for the following week.

Okay, that was long. I guess the 7th thing that's weird about me is
that I like to go on and on and on and on. I just can't shut up.

I think this whole branch of the weirdness game is going to shrivel
up and die here, because I have no idea who I could tag. Maybe if I
sleep on it, I'll come up with something. Pam, Isla, Lisa, Nicole,
Alan, Mark, Andree, why don't you have blogs yet? Get started! Start
with the weirdness poll!

Values

One of the thoughts I've had swirling around my head for the last few weeks has to do with values.

When you homeschool, you have to live in contact with your values. You have to know what they are, you have to live by them, and you have to be prepared to defend them to your children, and to practically anyone who decides to question your right or ability to homeschool.

I have to know, on a daily basis, what is more important: a clean house, or school work accomplished? Groceries done, or a play date with friends? Making my daughter finish something or letting her try something new? Achievement, or experimentation? Discipline or going with the flow? Winning an argument or keeping the peace? Obedience or communication? Science or history? Writing or logic? Math or reading? Harry Potter or learn-to-read books? English books or French books? 

I didn't feel like I was constantly making decisions when my daughter was at school all day. Most of the decisions were made for me, including what time to get up, what time to go to bed, how much homework to do, and how much free time we had.

When I am responsible for what goes on around here 24 hours a day, I need to be crystal clear about what is important to me. I feel like every day is a living example of what is important: love, caring, patience, compassion, respect, healthy choices like nutrition and exercise, attitude, effort, work, and rest.

Someone mentioned to me that she wasn't feeling confident yet about her decision to homeschool. Someone else was worried about her child "keeping up" with children in school. I have a lot of empathy for these women. The way I see it, if you are comparing yourself to schools, it's because you basically agree with the goals and values of the schools, and you want to achieve a similar outcome.  I have confidence in what I'm doing because I DO NOT share the goals and values of the schools, so I do not need to compare my results to theirs. I do things differently because I have different values and because I am looking for a different outcome.

Thank goodness it's over.

I have just got to get this off my chest: I am SO RELIEVED that the
"holidays" are over. The fact that they are called "holidays" in the
first place is absolutely laughable. Whoever came up with that is
clearly not the person who does the cleaning, the decorating, the
cooking, the shopping, or the wrapping. Christmas is like a huge
project that has to be done on an annual basis, with a hard-and-fast
deadline, whether you feel like accepting the contract or not.

I know, I know, it's supposed to be a wonderful, magical time for
families to spend special time together and bond and so on. We happen
to be a homeschooling family, so we already spend LOTS of special
time together. Every day, in fact. All of my other important
relatives live really close by, so I see plenty of them, too. We have
dinner together all the time. The only thing different about
Christmas is that I have to do a lot of shopping, cleaning, wrapping,
and decorating beforehand, followed by some more cleaning afterwards.

The other issue that I have is that Christmas really throws me off of
my routine. I never ever imagined that I would be so attached to my
routine that it would bother me to abandon it for a week, but
apparently I am way more anal than I ever thought possible. After a
week off the routine, the kids were bored and hyper and driving me
crazy, and I was bored of spending all my time cleaning, cooking,
shopping, wrapping, eating, and socializing. I really wanted to get
back to MY life, which is with my friends, my kids, and my projects,
whatever they happen to be at the moment.

So, we took all the Christmas decorations down on December 30 because
I just couldn't handle having it hanging around anymore. We had a
fondue dinner with my brother and his wife on New Year's Eve, and by
January 2, I was BACK to regular life. The kids are back to normal,
and so am I. Dear hubby, bless him, goes back to work on Monday, and
things will REALLY get back to normal again. Thank God. I'm sure I
will come up with something new to complain about next week!